I felt it necessary to share my experience with the Holy Spirit, it spans most of my life, and hopefully, may give some people help, clarity, and understanding with at least some perspectives along his roll in our lives. Sadly, few people I've met have revealed to me their experiences with him, they are essentially, not being comforted by him, or more so, not able to acknowledge him in the first place. It's kind of like throwing a rope to a drowning person, behind their heads where they cannot see it. All the person needs to do is turn around, and there is rescue. Yet, at the same time, some times he is needed more with some people then others, so his presence is made known, and in a more direct manner.
Mine is the latter, and I'm eternally grateful, I would not be alive this day if it was not for his presence in my life.
It was clear, early on, as a child, both parents had reduced the family structure is being symbolic only, with few rare exceptions. The visuals appeared fine, yet the emotional aspects of it were reduced to anger and punishment when we did wrong, to indifference when we did something right. I was hit with the worse of it, all of my siblings agree on that aspect. Around the age of 9, is where his presence seemed to make itself known, in a more direct manner., It could quite possibly be earlier, but that is as far back as I remember, or care to, or am able to., I used to have epileptic seizures, and there were a few times, my father would let his temper get the best of him, and I was the one he took it out upon.,
The fact remained clear, unless the Holy Spirit comforted me, even if I didn't know what was happening, or who this was, I would have died of a broken heart as a child, much less, as an adult. Around the age of 22, I realized this was indeed, Gods presence. I also learned that it's not very common to experience his presence in this manner. Reflecting back, all of my life, when I was alone, "which is the bulk of it", the Holy Spirit was there to comfort me. The impact still, was not enough to fill the void, and I guess, that is not his roll., The anguish I faced, continued through my 20's, and while diminished later in years, there are still times where what I experience, takes it's toll, and again, the Holy Spirit is with me.
There have been times in prayer, where I really needed and answer, something tangible I could recognize, and his presence was made known, as that sign. And rather recent experiences, he's made himself known in different ways as well, literally on one of them, it was like what is described as a dove, descending from heaven, like a gentle hand, a familiar caress, something else then what I experience on a regular basis.
People who don't understand, have never experienced, what I feel, is a physical sensation, some what like, if I had to describe it, like a surge of electricity. My hair stands on end as well, but it goes deeper, far deeper, and in a gentle, warm manner, not at all like the painful hard shock of electricity. There is no ryme or reason some times, along my perception, when he shows up, but if I'm in a deep state of despair, he will come along to comfort me almost automatically.
Anyway, the thing is, at least in what counts here. If you are abandoned, hurt, alone, in despair, know that you can always cry on the shoulders of the Holy Spirit, that this is the great comforter, and I so very much wish everybody could experience the same thing.
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